Paddy

[Alan Mclennan]

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the
> night celebrating St Patrick's Day.
>
> Mick, the bartender says, " You'll not be drinking anymore tonight
> Paddy.
>
> Paddy replies, "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then."
>
> Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his
> face. "Shoite" he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts
> himself off.
>
> He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face, "Shoite,
> Shoite!"
>
> He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get
> to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine.
>
> He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He
> sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels
> much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on
> his face. "Bi'Jesus...
>
> He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door,
> hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside.
>
> He takes a look up the stairs and says "No way".
>
> He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says "I can make it to
> the bed."
>
> He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face.
>
> He says "F it" and falls into bed.
>
> The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of
> coffee and says, "Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last
> night?".
>
> Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was pissed. But how'd you know?"
>
> "Mick phoned, . . . You left your wheelchair at the pub."
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[Anthony]

I didn't see that coming....