YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS
A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples:
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle
seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being
near the window.
(On an airplane!)
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted
to go to Capetown. While I started to explain the
length of the flight and the passport information, she
interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look
stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without
trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained,
''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa.''
Her response - click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a
Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the
vacation in Orlando.
He said he was expecting an ocean-view room.
I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando
is in the middle of the state. He replied, 'Don't lie
to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin
state!'' (OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, ''Is
it possible to see England from Canada?'' I said,
''No.'' She said, ''But they look so close on the
map.'' (OMG, again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if
he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the
reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in
Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car,
he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will
need a car to drive between gates to save time.''
(Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She
needed to know how it was possible that her flight from
Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33
a.m. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of
Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of
time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast,
and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, ''Do airlines
put your physical description on your bag so they know
whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do
you ask?'
She replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline,
they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm
overweight. I think that's very rude!'' After putting
her on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I
was dying laughing.) I came back and explained the city
code for Fresno, CA is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and
the airline was just putting a destination tag on her
luggage.
8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip
package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost
info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to
California , and then take the train to Hawaii?''
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman
who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?'' I
asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied,
''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these
planes have numbers on them.''
10. A lady Senator called and said, ''I need to fly to
Pepsi-Cola , Florida. Do I have to get on one of those
little computer planes?'' I asked if she meant fly to
Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said, ''Yeah,
whatever, smarty!''
11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the
documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a
lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that
he needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China
many times and never had to have one of those.'' I
double checked and sure enough, his stay required a
visa. When I told him this he said, ''Look, I've been to
China four times and every time they have accepted my
American Express!''
12. A New Mexico Congress woman called to make
reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New
York.'' I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said,
''Are you sure that's the name of the town?'' ''Yes,
what flights do you have?'' replied the lady. After
some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, ma'am,
I've looked up every airport code in the country and
can't find a Rhino anywhere.'' The lady retorted, ''Oh,
don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your
map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally
offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo, do you?'' The reply?
''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
Now you know why the Government is in the shape that
it's in! Could anyone be this DUMB?
YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY
CONTINUE TO BREED!
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