Slick 60's

An elderly couple was taking an evening stroll thru a neighborhood park, enjoying the sunset. Out of nowhere the old man is hit square in the forehead with a giant glob of bird droppings. He's instantly mad. He looks over at his wife and she's frantically digging in her purse.
"What are you looking for now?", he asks.
"Just thought maybe I had a small bit of toilet paper or something to wipe with in my purse."
"You crazy old woman, that bird's probably a half mile from here by now".

I think gramps is a little coo-coo himself

Shats a fact!

that's funny chit

That reminds me of the old story about the couple taking a walk when he looked up in a tree and a bird let loose and it fell right in his mouth. He said to his wife, Man, if i hadnt my mouth open he would have crapped right in my face!

Lowell wrote:That reminds me of the old story about the couple taking a walk when he looked up in a tree and a bird let loose and it fell right in his mouth. He said to his wife, Man, if i hadnt my mouth open he would have crapped right in my face!

yeah and aren`t you glad cows don`t fly!...

One day a couple years ago, I was cutting up this old tree at my Moms with the chainsaw.. It was August ..and HOT !
So I finally got to a point where I was tired and my saw had just run out of gas.. I sat the saw down, stood there just
feeling so sweaty, dirty and tired.. I reached over with my right hand and pulled the big leather glove off of my left hand..
and not 2 seconds later something hit my hand hard enough to make it drop about two inches.. I looked over and my hand
was even hotter, and something was running between my fingers.. it nearly felt like blood. The ENTIRE back of my hand was
covered with a giant HOT RUNNY bird poo.. The "spot" on my hand went from my wrist to my knuckles, and the whole width
of my palm.. it was still running over the sides ! I swear I almost up chucked it right there. I was terrified to look up just in
case he ( the bird ) was still in the area.


I found a clump of grass growing from the ground and started to wipe it off, sheesh there was so much I had to walk around
clump to clump to get it off ! It was the first time it had ever happened to me, and it must have been a freaking giant pelican
from about 2000 feet over head.. man it was gross..

I was maybe 6 years old, my dad would take me and my older brother to get donuts on Saturday mornings. One morning, my dad had just pulled a donut out of the bag and before he even got a bite, a bird flew by and gave it an additional coating of white poo! He was pretty mad and threw the donut on to the ground!

I was riding bikes with my oldest sister as a kid. A bird crapped on my shoulder and she started laughing and teasing me. Wasn't big, but it was bird carp on my t-shirt. She made fun of me all the way home. Just as we went up the back step she started to say something else and stopped mid sentence. I looked back at her as I was going thru the kitchen door and she was just standing there, not moving, but she looked funny. I looked closer and she had some bird crap running down her lip. Yes, that bird hit her open mouth (yes, a huge target but I was still a big fan of the bird) while she was teasing me. I laughed so hard mom couldn't figure out what was going on. Me laughing like a crazy person, rolling around on the kitchen floor and my sister standing outside crying and unable to talk.

I had forgotten completely about this little episode in my life until reading some of your posts. Maybe that is why I found this joke so funny in the first place. Now if a bird will crap on my other sister my life will be complete!

SPark

A bird crapping on you is supposed to be a sign of good luck, but it`s a different story with Corn Bats, so be careful in Altoona at Slick Stock............

Lance, you had me laughing OUT LOUD and UNCONTROLLABLY. thanks ,man, I needed that! sorry you got pooed on tho. Jeff

I think a corn bat pooped in my drink at SlickStock....
Cause I woke up with a headache the next morning

Pat, we`ll have to get some of those Little Umbrellas for our beers mate!

Alan Mclennan wrote:Pat, we`ll have to get some of those Little Umbrellas for our beers mate!

So THATS what those things are for !

When we were teenagers, my cousin Bob always made me jealous, he had the long gold flowing locks like Greg Allman.
Their family were not the dressing up type, but I remember being over at their place visiting one time, when one of our other cousins was getting married.
So Bob washed his long blonde hair, and it took a long time to get it dry. Plus, he got in a suit for the first time I could remember in his life! and we headed for the church to the wedding...
but the second he stepped off the back porch to go, a bird crapped RIGHT in the middle of the part in his hair. I laughed so hard i near peed myself.
Still makes me laugh when i think of it. it took him another hour to wash his hair and get it dry, by then he missed the wedding LOL