Coles is our second largest Supermarket chain......
Murder at Coles
Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary and then arranging to have her killed.
A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $10,000.
The husband said he was willing to pay that amount but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar coin that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Coles supermarket. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the shop's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the premises.
Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.
The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared...
(You're going to hate me for this...)
'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ Coles
Murder at Coles
- Alan Mclennan
- Posts: 9324
- Joined: October 14, 2006, 6:16 pm
- Location: In the shed... Cranebrook NSW
Murder at Coles
Honey, If I say I`ll fix something I will, there`s no need to remind me every 6 months!!
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Re: Murder at Coles
That Artie joke smells funny its a little stinker .
if it goes it goes if it don't it won't unless the hammer is the right size .
Re: Murder at Coles
Alan, this joke proves inflation is real.
20 years ago, it was "Artie chokes 3 for a dollar at XXXXX (food store of your choice).
My mother in law used to tell this all the time, I had forgot all about it. Now you have it stuck in my head again!
Thanks,
SPark
20 years ago, it was "Artie chokes 3 for a dollar at XXXXX (food store of your choice).
My mother in law used to tell this all the time, I had forgot all about it. Now you have it stuck in my head again!
Thanks,
SPark
1932 Ford 5 window coupe. 302/C4
1962 8V-390/C6 Unibody Short Bed Soon to be Big Window - The Lincoln that never was
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1962 8V-390/C6 Unibody Short Bed Soon to be Big Window - The Lincoln that never was
2013 F150 Super Crew Eco Boost 4x4
2015 Ford Edge for the little lady, because she said so!
2007 Mustang GT, 4.6-3V/5 Speed. Only 8680 miles on the clock.
More toys, I need more toys!!!
- Alan Mclennan
- Posts: 9324
- Joined: October 14, 2006, 6:16 pm
- Location: In the shed... Cranebrook NSW
Re: Murder at Coles
Ah bugger!..................I hate Earworms.... ......http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1XfGTO2vh8LM14 wrote:Alan, this joke proves inflation is real.
20 years ago, it was "Artie chokes 3 for a dollar at XXXXX (food store of your choice).
My mother in law used to tell this all the time, I had forgot all about it. Now you have it stuck in my head again!
Thanks,
SPark
Honey, If I say I`ll fix something I will, there`s no need to remind me every 6 months!!
66 f100 tabletop swb 351 Clevo C6 "Beryl"
Slick Stock 3 KCMO
Slick Stock 4 Altoona
Slick Stock 5 KCMO
Slick Stock 6 Altoona
Slick Stock 7 Salina KS
Slick Stock 8..............................
66 f100 tabletop swb 351 Clevo C6 "Beryl"
Slick Stock 3 KCMO
Slick Stock 4 Altoona
Slick Stock 5 KCMO
Slick Stock 6 Altoona
Slick Stock 7 Salina KS
Slick Stock 8..............................